Have you already tried to give your life a different direction by regular use of affirmations? Have you found that you need a lot of perseverance? And do you not find yourself quickly falling back into your habitual, earlier thought patterns the more you realize that you really want something?
The more intensely we are engaged in something, the more often we come up against these thoughts and the less serene we are in the way we use affirmations. Have you never observed in yourself that you sometimes want something ‘too much’ or in a way that makes you very anxious? That you want it so much that it makes your whole body tense up, so that your impatience comes to the surface? That you wanted it here and now, for once and for all, that you felt that it had gone on long enough and it was now time for it to happen.
Having a very pressing desire which appears not to want to come true is something which all of us find difficult to bear. It requires insight to practice staying calm, knowing that what you want is on its way. You have to practise letting go of tension. Instead of repeatedly asking ourselves why it doesn’t come, even after we have affirmed so often and for such a long time, it is better to assume that the energies of the universe are already searching for the best solution for us. Since we can’t see this happening, we tend to think that nothing will ever come of it. However, our affirmations have already set forces in motion to grant our wish. If it takes a while before this bears fruit, this might be a sign, among other things, that other people have to be involved or circumstances need to change before our wish can come true. Perhaps, for example, we want the partner who is exactly the right person for us, but he or she lives in another country or is he or she is not yet available or that partner or we ourselves need first to follow a certain path of self-development. We can’t see this, we just have to have faith that if we wish with untrammelled expectation that what we desire will come about - that it really will happen.
If we affirm with a calm certainty that we really are being helped and that our words won’t just come back without any result, then those words are charged with power and can do their job. However, if we affirm with impatience, tension or with a small amount of faith, but still not enough to remove the doubt in the back of our minds about why it is taking so long, we end up demagnetizing ourselves.
Continuing to believe is the test if things seem to go against us, if we are unhappy and everything seems to be taking ages. There is no alternative, however. If we conclude that it isn’t going to work after all, we just stay where we are, worse still: we’ll actually end up going backwards. If we go on affirming without being afraid and then fix our attention on what relaxes us the most, we can find a way out of this. As we have said before, it’s a question of practice, every day. Knowing a lot about something or having read a lot about it, doesn’t always make it easier. You still have to obey the fundamental law that you have to believe in something for it to come about.
So don’t let your thoughts weaken your mental picture of your wish. Thoughts like: ‘it isn’t right for me to wish for something like this’; ‘do I really deserve it?’; or ‘I can’t really allow myself that’. Another thing you mustn’t do is criticize something that you want, for example, by saying ‘it’s not that great anyway’ (e.g. the object of you wish) or ‘after all it’s only egocentric people who have this’. This saps energy from your wish. The picture has to be crystal clear and charged with positive feelings. Ask and ask again. We never dare to ask for enough, which causes us not to be specific enough about what we want.
Don’t formulate your question the future tense (I will have this or that or I will be this or that …) or in the conditional (I would like to have this or that if…or I would like to be this or that, if ...). Using these tenses shifts the realization of the affirmation to the future or makes it a mere possibility as opposed to something which is really going to happen.
While you are using the affirmations, the more you have reactions to people or circumstances that are not based on fear, anger, sadness or low self-esteem, the more you increase the power of your affirmations. Practice doing this. Examine your emotions and thoughts. This sharpens your skills so as to make the results of your own power more effective. It can help to look at everything in your life that you can be grateful for and everything that you have already achieved.
Don’t entertain doubts about your ability to realize your potential. Don’t say things to yourself like: ‘the other person has this’ or ‘there are so many things I don’t have’ or ‘there are so many things I lack as a person’. This makes things into a competition. We are all unique. What you have, no one else has. It is important to be yourself in your own unique way. Otherwise you are taking something away from the universe. No one can replace you. Not being yourself detracts from the inherent charm of your individuality. Nature never repeats itself. You too are absolutely authentic in everything and have never been replicated. So don’t copy other people.
By being yourself, you manifest the enormity of the universe that has not created a single being, animal or plant in the same identical form. In this way everything and everyone complements each other, making a complete whole. Not being yourself is, in fact, breaking a link in the chain of this totality. Don’t copy what others say, go with your own insights, in a harmonious way. Then they won’t be hurtful.
You have the right to be you. We all have wishes that are not in conflict with those of others. Everyone can use the intrinsic power of thought in the same way. Everyone is continually using them, but not enough. There is plenty for everyone. We don’t need to fight each other to be able to draw on resources, even though we wrongly see these resources as limited. Everything flows from the spirit. The fact that you get something doesn’t mean that it is no longer available to someone else or only available to a lesser extent. It will just be accessible to them in a way that might be different.
On the other hand, if you don’t assume that the other person is to blame, but rather that he or she was afraid (as there are only two basic feelings: fear or love), you can show understanding and react with empathy. Instead of resorting to insults, you can ask for an explanation in a normal tone of voice. Instead of being reproachful, you can ask the other person how he or she feels and why. You can bring everything it into your personal domain and say: ‘this makes me feel like this’ or ‘I would like to have positive contact with you, but as I feel sad about this or that I would like to hear how you see it’. If another person doesn’t want to have any contact at all, you can wait. Don’t get worked up about their behaviour. Try not to go get drawn into negative emotions. Your being afraid gives power to the other person. If you feel threatened by someone, you send out an energy that radiates this fear and puts you in a position of weakness.
Show compassion or do your best to show it. Send that person love and/or harmony or peace in your thoughts or, if possible, just by holding that person in your arms - without saying anything, except perhaps in your thoughts. Express your desire for human contact. This may seem absurd for someone who feels that he or she has been wronged, but it can nevertheless heal the wounds in an instant. In this way the person who literally or figuratively stretches out their arms to the other, also heals them, which in turn creates a greater sum total of happiness. You can’t imagine how unburdening a listening ear or a harmonious gesture can be in the midst of sadness or even in the midst of reproach. Give it a try. It’s worth doing. And if it didn’t help when you tried it (or not completely), don’t say to yourself that you made a big effort for nothing and that you’ll never do it again.
You can never erase your gesture, but nor can it be erased by the recipient - neither in the universe nor in yourself. Ask yourself whether you truly made a gesture of harmony or whether you just acted mechanically, just on order to try it. Don’t do things mechanically: act out of a genuine feeling. Strive to be honest. It can help to know that the other person is really asking us for help – rather than just wanting to provoke you or others. Don’t simply assume that the other person consciously wants to hurt you. In reality he or she is also trying to follow their conscience.
Alternatively, you can say to the other person that you want help, because you think that the other person has this or that opinion of you or because you don’t have what you want. Go after what you think and want and express it your own unique way. What is the alternative? The alternative is to go further along the path you have already trodden; being at loggerheads for even longer; continuing anger; and demagnetization, as we mentioned earlier. Damage to your health. Do you genuinely want to move on to something better? Then don’t keep on doing and thinking the same things. Try to be a little bit different every time, in your own special way. If you don’t grow, you’ll end up always doing what you did in the past in the way you always did it. Someone has to take that step. Someone with insight can do it. You can do it. Don’t expect it to come from the other side, do it yourself. Don’t wait, this opportunity will never come back in the same form. The conviction that the other person is favourably disposed towards us, creates that favourable disposition and at least gives them the chance to adopt the right attitude.