There is a saying:
'You can forgive, but you can’t forget'
For many people, however, this is not the case. Perhaps you too are living with something that you haven’t forgiven. Perhaps you feel that you have been wronged. This is living with inner resentment. Resentment is a negative thought in the soul. We are the only thinkers inside us: what we let into our minds is our responsibility and our own choice. What enters our soul exercises a continual influence on us, consciously or unconsciously. Of course, everyone wants his or her life to get better and better. However, the less resentment and anger you have locked up in your soul, the quicker your life will become happy and successful.
This is why it is very important to purge your soul of resentment and of the feeling that you have been treated unfairly. Forgiving is crucial. You may feel reluctant to accept this idea, yet it is entirely in your interests to do so because everything you give out you get back. If you are harbouring resentment you are not neutral. At that moment, you are a negative pole which, in turn, can attract other negative things.
Stop the spiral! Let the other person stop the spiral. Don’t assume that if the other person isn’t prepared to do it, that you shouldn’t do it either. He or she may not be aware of the laws of the soul and will perhaps always feel that he or she was right.
Forgiving is doing. First, take the mental resolution that you will forgive, then act in accordance with this, to make that forgiveness real.
Look into yourself. Only when you no longer have negative feelings in relation to what has to be forgiven and you can think about it in a totally calm and serene way, will the anger, the hate or the resentment go away.
You will then have understood why it happened. It might be that someone did something to you in response to something you did earlier in your life, perhaps even something you did to another person. Sometimes the reason why the other person acted the way he or she did is not clear. Yet it is still a good idea to try to get to the bottom of it, perhaps using your intuition. A feeling of inferiority can sometimes be an obstacle to the desire to forgive.
Use the mirror effect. Ask yourself if you gave all that you could have given. Ask yourself what might have been at the root of how the other person behaved. Think about what might have provoked or fostered that behaviour.
Realizing that we are mirrors to each other is forgiving. It is knowing that the other person also had things to learn and that he or she acted from his or her own behaviour pattern. This helps both of you get over it.
Not forgiving is chaining yourself to what happened and this stays with you. It consumes your internal energy. It prevents you from experiencing full, unconditional love and happiness in the present. In order to help you heal yourself, you are continually offered situations which can help you work on this forgiveness.
Forgiving is understanding that there isn’t just one person who is to blame for everything or – more precisely – that blame doesn’t really exist; that we are all trying to shake off patterns that have arisen from feelings other than loving feelings.
This is difficult, but it is of cardinal importance in achieving forgiveness. Realizing that you once might have done something just as serious – with the same emotion, and thus also of the same nature – in the same or in different circumstances, with the same person or someone else. That capacity to forgive frees us and the other person from our own stored-up feelings about what happened, so that the capacity to love can develop further in both of you.
A reciprocal gift. It’s your choice, whether you want to take it or not. Not seeking revenge, turning the other cheek, might sound too submissive and it is certainly not unreasonable that you don’t at first want to do that. Yet it is also very good for you to adopt the path of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is an important key to promoting health and well-being. According to medical researchers unresolved quarrels can be the cause of chronic illnesses. By letting go of our disputes, forgiving ourselves and others, we take the first steps along the healing process.
Try to open yourself as far as possible to living your life with strength, love and integrity; from an acceptance of yourself and others as they are; without passing judgement; without wanting to criticize them or attack them for things that they did that might have caused you pain or hurt your feelings.
Let the other person discover and feel that you really forgive them. That is a healing balm.
Let yourself discover that you are doing it. That is happiness.
Finally, happiness is also valuing yourself and forgiving yourself for what you think you could have done better or differently in the past. Live now. Now is the only moment that counts. Little by little, let go of your feelings of guilt, your feelings of not being good enough. Forgive others as you would like to be forgiven yourself. Release the energy that this takes up! Give yourself harmony!
Examples of affirmations relating to forgiving :
I WISH YOU PROGRESS!