"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
Keep a close eye on your thoughts. Change your fearful thoughts by imagining the opposite. You know that fear won’t bring you closer to what you desire. Fear is also a bad counsellor.
Worrying about things, feeling jealous, feeling guilty, being startled, harbouring anger or bearing resentment are also kinds of fear.
There are, after all, only two fundamental emotions: fear and love. Fear saps your energy and brings whatever it is you are afraid of into your life. It can paralyse you and stunt your creativity.
It makes you focus on what you don’t want to happen or what you think might is going to happen.
As fear is such a powerful emotion, it can cause whatever it is that you are afraid of to manifest itself in your life. You should therefore examine your thoughts as closely as possible and recognize those thoughts which inhibit your continued progress.
For example, you’re jealous of your partner’s new good-looking colleague. Even though you don’t say anything about it, your thoughts of jealousy and fear – if you hold on to them – pass into your partner’s unconscious mind. People who live together or who are very close have mental worlds that are inter-linked. Your partner picks up your thoughts and images and - if these are images of him or her laughing, talking and starting a relationship with someone else - they will play on his or her mind too and will have the same tendency to make themselves come true as they do in your own mind. In fact, in a sense, you are inadvertently feeding what might happen. This is why it is a good idea, before blaming the other person – wholly or in part – to take a careful look at yourself. Ask yourself if you might not have triggered something off - out of fear that it might happen.
This doesn’t mean that your partner is entirely blameless just because he or she was driven by their unconscious, of course. After all, he or she also has convictions about situations of this kind and these convictions influence his or her behaviour.
You might say: ‘I can’t help it that thoughts of jealousy or fear come over me, without my consciously having let them in’.
That may be. We can also store deep in ourselves, in our subconscious, the “germs” of doubts or a lack of trust or love, caused by negative experiences in the past.
If you are not aware of them, they can pop up unexpectedly. Until we recognize them and start working on them. Life always tries to teach us the same lesson over and over again. Until we’ve learnt that lesson.
Coming back to the example given above, replace your initial thoughts with thoughts about what you want to happen. In other words, that you have a loving and harmonious relationship with your partner in every way and that everyone around you helps you to achieve this, to a greater or lesser extent. If you see it this way, this is how it will be. In this way, you feed your relationship. Your partner will pick up on the feeling of being supported by you, without knowing exactly what you are sending out.
Do it straight away. Change to what you really want, now. Every moment is a new opportunity. Don’t say ‘what if...’ anymore, say: “it’s like this”. Live in faith. You can also wish for another situation in your relationship. The affirmations you will need are described in the book.
Your self-image is important for getting rid of fear and having positive contacts with others. Your personal energy field is determined by your mental patterns, beliefs and attitude. Your energy is also the power behind your experience of the relationship. Positive interactions with others are not so much determined - or at least not principally - by your appearance, your material success or intellectual abilities, but rather by an accumulation of a small number of real or imagined poles of attraction. Your self-image is thus crucial to achieving harmonious relationships. Others see you as you really see yourself. The questions set out below, inspired by the ideas of Sandra Anne Taylor, may help you to see how much value you attach to the following convictions.
Never-0 Sometimes-1 Quite often-2 Usually-3 Always-4
Most people score between 50 and 75%. Don’t be discouraged if your scores are lower than you expected. Instead, focus on how you can change your energy so that you can also change your score in the future.
In order to make positive changes, copy the convictions for which you got a low score or keep them stored in your memory.
Affirm them every day.
If you rated yourself, for example, 0, 1 or 2 for number 14, which looks at the time you set aside for your own objectives and happiness, you should write or affirm, something like: “I will work towards my own objectives and happiness every day.” If you don’t do this for yourself, you will not tend to attract people to you who are going to do this for you.
Finally, act with love and harmony, and not only towards others. Thoughts work in two ways: outwards and inwards. If you convey a negative feeling to other people, this elicits the same response in them; if you exude love (in the broadest sense of the word), those with kindness in their hearts will become happier as a result. Giving creates space for receiving the same in return. A continual movement, ever expanding.